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For The Record

by Nerds With Guitars

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1.
What did the Daleks ever do to you? What makes us so much badder than that meddling doctor... who? We're little more than garbage cans that barely reach your knees With bodies made of tin-foil and some flashing LEDs We'd like to get to know you better We think it'd be great It really means "I love you" when we say *EXTERMINATE* What is your big problem with the dark lords of the Sith? Those pesky rebel Jedis like to spread this hurtful myth The Force Choke and the Deathstar were unfortunate mistakes And the footage of the Ewok thing was obviously faked We're really not so bad you know We're good guys, through and through And if you search your feelings, you will know it to be true We Cylons are misunderstood, it's a fact you can't deny We're just another human scheme gone terribly awry You built a master-race of robots, for to be your slaves And somehow you assumed we'd acquiesce and we'd behave But we're willing to forgive you all For holding us in thrall And you can take our word - so say one, so say we all You hate the Borg collective; have you stopped to question why? Just 'cause we assimilated some uptight, bald British guy? Our story-lines made Voyager an unexpected hit And do we even need to bring up Jeri Ryan's *ahem* ...implants? We're the best addition to the franchise since Wrath of Khan Resistance isn't futile, it's just highly frowned upon Well the Daleks are cool, the Sith are all right, the Cylons are okay and the Borg are pretty tight. If you take a look around I think that you'll come to see, we really are superior, so sing along with me: Bow down before the one you serve You're going to get what you deserve
2.
Hero 05:20
I'm walking alone in the land of Hyrule I hear Gannondorf has been actin' a fool And it's up to me to bring peace to the land With the Master Sword aloft in my hand I'm four feet tall, dressed in green I'm the baddest little elf that you've ever seen And all the sucker NPCs thinkin' they can hang Are gonna get knocked out by my boomerang Don't step to me, you'd better let me pass I'm comin' correct y'all, with style and class Gonna save the princess and get the glory And when I get done, they're gonna name the story... The Legend of Link, 'cause I'm here to say That Gannondorf is gonna have a bad day 'Cause I'm doin' the hero thing - doin' it right Gonna bring that righteous Triforce noise tonight 'Cause a hero does what a hero do Nobody else around here seems to have a clue So they call me up, in their hour of need A big bad white knight on a shining steed A hero does what a hero say So listen up, y'all, I'm here to save the day This is my big entrance: my debut I'm a hero, baby. And this is what a hero do In a land besieged by the forces of night One bad mother-hubbard's taken up the fight And with Buffy Summers nowhere to be found It's a damn good thing Simon Belmont's around Gonna Whip It like Devo, all across the scene I'm a bad-ass vampire-killin' machine The undead tremble when I bring the pain You want a taste, son? Come suck on *this* vein You can hide in the dark, but to no avail I'm like Vlad Tsepesh; I'm just here to impale Jack Crow was an amateur, compared to me You'll be Dead by Dawn, that's a guarantee Bring your Ghosts and Goblins, your Ghouls and Ghosts Bring the bats and the rats and the corpsey host I'm the meanest mother-hubbard monster-slayer around And I'ma put you six feet back down in the ground 'Cause a hero does what a hero do Nobody else around here seems to have a clue So they call me up, in their hour of need A big bad white knight on a shining steed A hero does what a hero say So listen up, y'all, I'm here to save the day This is my big entrance: my debut I'm a hero, baby. And this is what a hero do If there's one thing pirates fear more than hangin' You know it's Capitan LeChuck and his skeleton gang They hold the Isle of Mêlée in thrall It's up to one young wannabe to answer the call With a white silk shirt and a ponytail My name's Guybrush Threepwood and I'm gonna set sail With a master of swords and a petty-crook And a guy with a talking tattoo and a hook If you think Guybrush is a stupid name Go on and blame Tim Shafer, he designed the game*** But I ain't gonna give up. I ain't gonna quit And the only thing sharper than my sword's my wit Gonna teach Chuck a lesson, gonna show him how You say I fight like a farmer? Bitch, you fight like a cow Gonna rescue Elaine, bring her back just fine Represent that hero chorus one more time 'Cause a hero does what a hero do Nobody else around here seems to have a clue So they call me up, in their hour of need A big bad white knight on a shining steed A hero does what a hero say So listen up, y'all, I'm here to save the day This is my big entrance: my debut I'm a hero, baby. And this is what a hero do *** to be altogether honest, Tim Shafer co-wrote, along with Dave Grossman Ron Gilbert was the lead-designer and lead-writer on Secret of Monkey Island But all three are awesome guys. Also, Steve Purcell (of Sam & Max fame) was responsible for "Guybrush". He made the sprites for the unnamed, unlikely-protagonist "Guy". He then appended "brush", to denote that it was a particular kind of file in his paint program. After a while, the character within "Guybrush.bbm" became Guybrush. The more you know.
3.
This is not your stereotypical date-rape song It started right, but somehow went terribly wrong With roofies in your hand, enact your master plan Ensure that she'll be yours the whole night long This is not your stereotypical Friday night Gotta tell you man, and I'm sorry if it's impolite You wanted in her pants, but you'd never have a chance You couldn't even lick or drug her right ... This is not your stereotypical slight of hand As rapist go, you're not the best. I understand It's tougher than you'd think, to lace the proper drink Well, good job dude, you scored yourself a man This is not your stereotypical evening's end She got home safe and you got yourself a special friend Mister rapist, can't you see that the one you drugged was me... ...and now it's wearing off and I am feeling rather randy You think you're such a tough guy, but you're really just a pansy Don't you know that it's not right to rape a woman 'cause she's pretty It's time that someone taught you why it's wrong to rape, empirically ... This is not your stereotypical date-rape song (rape isn't funny)

about

After six years of blood, sweat and tears, earth, wind and fire, blood, sugar, sex and magik, we finally have an EP for your listening pleasure. As the name suggests, this 3-song EP is just a preview of what's coming on our full album, but since albums cost a lot of money, every penny we make from For The Record will go directly into financing a full-length record of our silliness for your enjoyment. Because, you know, you love us. We hope.

credits

released April 3, 2012

All songs written, arranged and performed by Alex James and Sean May.

Percussion and bass on "Sympathy for the Daleks" courtesy of Theo Posthumus.
Additional vocals on "Sympathy for the Daleks" courtesy of Theo Posthumus, Rory & Julie Taillon, Matt & Ange Darling.

Recorded and mixed by Theo Posthumus at The Rhythm Complex, 1162 Southdale Ave. Oshawa ON, L1H7Z2 (theoposthumus.com)

Cover art and liner notes by John Torres of Odin's Beard Interactive (odins-beard.com)

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Nerds With Guitars Toronto, Ontario

Nerds With Guitars is the unholy love child borne from the dangerously fertile collective womb of tech-nerd / guitar wizard "Guitar" Sean May, and lit-nerd / geek-chic frontman Alex James.

N.W.G. is here to save the day with eclectic songs ranging from robots and Sith lords to bad fashion choices and revenge best served hot. These Nerd Folk Prophets deliver the good word of Nerd to the masses!
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